I calculated it once, and the distance between us was around 4,084 miles or 6572 kilometers.

When others write about their long distance relationships that are four hours away by car, I get a bit jealous. I get it. I do – any distance is hard. Any distance sucks. But when you have to drive to Chicago (three hours), wait around in security and at the gate (at least another 3 hours for an international flight), ride a plane for 8 hours (if there are no layovers), wait to go through customs and pick up your bag (another hour), just to see your boyfriend, well, it’s another story. Plus, air travel is just plain annoying, don’t you think?


The obvious solution would be for one of us to move to the other place…I know – I did do that for a year. Well, did you know the jobs situation kinda really sucks right now? Did you know there’s 46.2% unemployment for young people in Spain? Finding a job isn’t easy without all the obstacles; right now, it’s nearly impossible.


Okay, you say, can’t you, like, get married or something? We could, you’re right. But who wants to get married for a visa? How unromantic. This post on Matador delves into that.

Plus, we’re not necessarily ready to get married right now, so why do we have to do it before we’re ready? Oh yeah, we’re not the same nationality…there’s that. Even if we did decide to get hitched, we’d have to go through the whole rollo of the so-called fiancé visa, the K-1 visa in the United States. Don’t worry, all they want is the following: a payment, a cover letter, Form 129-F, declarations from both of you of how you met, statement guaranteeing you will marry within 90 days of the fiancé entering the country, proof of having seen each other once in the past two years, form G325-A filled out by the U.S. citizen and then the foreigner, passport photos, and a copy of my birth certificate. Not much, eh?

Oh yeah and there’s the afterwards part, too. (See above flowchart.)

I’m exhausted just thinking about it. And anxiously awaiting the day in which teleporting is invented. Beam me up, Scotty.


11 thoughts on “Distance

  1. It def is hard! I’m in a long distance relationship as well. My bf is from Toledo. (where i was teaching this past year). I’m moving back to Spain next week and I’ll be living in Madrid. We’ve been apart for 3 months now and it’s been pretty rough. ahh!


  2. I don’t even want to talk about it: my boyfriend spend 4-6 months a year in Somalia where there is little to know Internet connection. Everyone who pines for their boyfriend while he’s gone from Sevilla to Valencia for a weekend needs to shut their piehole; I think mine can be, at times, on of the worst.

    And, just fyi in case you didn’t read it, Hayley can tell you what to do about this fiance biz (or pajeja de hecho it! Low cost) http://hayleysalvo.wordpress.com/2011/08/25/love-and-marriage/

  3. Here’s one vote for getting married! I’m so tired of people saying they’re “not ready” for things—baby, marriage, etc. For better or for worse I don’t worry about being “ready”! (At least when it comes to major life decisions). My parents married after six months and are still together 35 years later. I waited longer— two and a bit years. Now I am happily in Spain. Unemployed, yes, but by choice, if I wanted to I could give English classes or go back to the dreaded comedor. Being in an international relationship means many, many sacrifices, but those who really want to be together find a way.

    From my experience you have to know what the next step is for long distance to work. If you don’t want to get married, what’s your plan?

  4. Paperwork is a nightmare. So sorry you guys are dealing with this. I haven’t seen my nov in a month and right before we tie the knot, fun stuff! One day it will get better, hang in there!

  5. Ew visas. I’ll be happy when all this jazz is over with. But on this note, I’d love if you guys got married! Very selfishly of course…I’d love to have you both around, specifically in Bloomington. And of course I think you guys are perfect together.

  6. I feel your pain! Jacobo and I did it for a year and a half, and it was excruciating. It felt like it would never end – particularly with a new Spanish bureaucracy surprise around every turn. I’m still not quite used to the fact that I just don’t need to worry about it anymore. Your day will come too, though, I promise. Hang in there!

  7. Good luck to the both of you, chica. As if distance weren’t hard enough… Immigration is a nasty issue, especially today when it’s very much in the political spotlight.

    Teleportation… I dream of the day!

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