Left: guiri, Right: not a guiri
One of the ways I have found to amuse myself when bored is to get on Facebook, but that can be depressing. All those enormously successful, happy people, while I’m at home eating yogurt out of a mug on my couch. But I know some people who will never fail me, los auxiliares de conversación en España. That is to say—the Facebook groups. Some are more interesting than others, but my favorite one is “Auxiliares de conversacion en MADRID”. Of course, for every amusing post, there’s an equally boring post.
But then there are the pull-my-hair-out, scratch-my-eyes-out posts. Here’s the rundown of some of the most annoying posts, topics, and people in these groups:
British (and sometimes other European) people who love to talk about the ignorant Americans they know.
Because stereotypes are there for a reason, amirite?! Guys?
People trying to avoid all contact with other guiris.
Guiris are the gringos of Spain, if you didn’t know. And aren’t they just the worst! This guiri-avoider must live with other foreigners in order to avoid speaking English. He/she will see Americans out at restaurants and remark about their loud voices and annoying laughter. Boo, guiri hater!
staying away from americans is my #1 plan.
“Everyone’s so flipping materialistic here [in the US]”
People who only want to hang out with other guiris.
Conversely, some people actively avoid contact with the other, a.k.a. Spaniards. Strange, isn’t it, that one would travel so far to speak only English, interact with only foreigners, etc.? These are the people that invite—ostensibly—the whole group to their house for their very first fiesta. Oddly they never seem to have a second …
People stereotyping heavily about Spaniards.
People who think getting residency in Spain as an American is as easy as 1-2-3.
Asked by one curious auxiliar: “does anyone know how difficult it is to obtain residency in Spain if you’re not employed or a student?” Two words, young one: Very. Difficult.
Crazily ignorant people.
These people will ask for tapas bar recommendations after living in Spain for nine months. They wonder if this Messi they’ve been hearing all about plays for Real Madrid (or what?).
“whats the difference between piso and habitacion as far as looking for something to rent?”
Where can I buy a good/inexpensive umbrella?
do public libraries exist in Madrid?
According to Spaniards I’m a “giddy.” Still haven’t figured out if thats a good thing or bad thing…
You begin to wonder how in the world they’ve survived this long.
(Thank you to the Twitter account @GuiriBullshit for the quotes!)