Hey, It’s Okay!

I admit, I’ve read Glamour magazine a time or two. Do you remember their “Hey, It’s OK!” section? Like, it’s okay to wear the same fancy dress to a wedding or two or three. It’s okay to have a snack on you at all times. Well, I’d like to present you with my own Spain-expat-blogger edition.

[Images from #TheTopKnot tumblr, which are gifs about blogging. Hilarious!]

Hey, It’s OK!

… if you don’t take a different trip every month. Just because you live in Spain doesn’t mean you cant enjoy being at home. Likewise, if you do travel a lot—hey, it’s okay!

… if you’re just not that into Instagram. Another sunset picture? Legs on the beach? Coffee? Everyone always seems shiny and happy there, and that’s cool, but life isn’t always shiny and happy and full of latte art. Unfortunately.

When a big blogger posts an Instagram of Froyo and 500 people like it

Big Blogger Instagram Froyo

… if you’re not interested in attending any blogging conferences. I’m an introvert; it’s part of the reason why I blog. Me + a bunch of other potential introverts = Errrrmmmm.

… if you don’t always speak Spanish to your Spanish partner, even though it is just the absolute best way to practice and learn a language and blah, blah, blah. Stop guilt tripping yourself!

… if you’re not all that interested in Spanish cinema or television shows. Except for Master Chef, because I just discovered that and it is wonderful.

… if the idea of self promotion still skeeves you out a bit. I get it, it’s essential for success, but sometimes I just want people to follow me because they like my content, not because I annoy them on Twitter, Facebook, and FourSquare.

… if you really like comments and get disappointed when you don’t get any (or very few).

When I’m really excited about a post and no one comments right away

Comments

… if you might actually prefer to live in the US than in Spain. As hard as it is for some to believe, some of us like Spain—a lot!— but would prefer to live in the—gasp!—United States, closer to family, friends, and corn fields. (Okay, maybe not that last one.)

Now this is me:

When I know I’ve written a post that might piss some people off

Ron Swanson grimace

What would you add to this list?

Spain Blogger Confessions

You all already know I’m not the starry-eyed Spain enthusiast that some bloggers are. I do like Spain, of course—I just take it in moderation. Some days enough gets to be enough. So I thought I’d confess a few things that you might not have surmised from my posts. It’s okay to be honest—really, we’re better off for it!

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Okay, Kaley, less “Blah, blah, blah” and more fun!

  • I don’t try everything. I don’t care how good you insist it is, I don’t want to try morro (snout) or criadilla (bull testicle) or oreja (ear). I’ve tried orejas already and never again!). If this makes me unadventurous, sue me.
  • I hate dubbing. I refuse to watch TV shows dubbed. In any language. Please, try to tell me that The Big Bang Theory is just as funny in Spanish. No. Just no. So yeah, this means I watch a lot of TV in English, which is bad for my Spanish learning. But I really don’t like Spanish TV or movies. Neither does Mario. 
  • I’m still patriotic. No, I’m not blindly patriotic. I understand the US has its flaws and is not God’s chosen country, but I still love my country and miss so many things about it—barbecues, the openness, the informality, the ease with which I navigated any and all social situations … en fin, so much!
  • I don’t idealize the Spanish lifestyle. Sure, Spain is known for relaxation, sun, and siestas. But the truth is, many Spaniards work endless days and get little to no rest. Nowadays the unemployment rate is sky high. I think that Spaniards definitely get it right with regards to enjoying food/drink, eating healthily, and walking, but they’re not perfect. They’re not inherently less lazy than Americans. They’re human—just like us.

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Spain + America = Success

  • I have a love/hate relationship with blogging. Sometimes (most of the time), I love blogging. I love the relationships it has created, the opportunities it has given me, the wonderful feedback I get from it. At others, I feel intimidated by other bloggers, worried that no one likes me, afraid that what I say will cause someone somewhere to become angry with me. I’m often envious of other bloggers’ success because I wish that I could achieve that same level of success without compromising any of my principles.

So, what about you—anything to confess? C’mon, spill it.

Blogging

Sorry to get all meta on you, but life’s tough. Suck it up.

My dear mother asked me an intriguing question the other day regarding blogging, about whether I ever think about what I will leave behind, what I’ll be known for. I said yes and no; I do think about whether other people see now, but I don’t think so much about what people in the future might think about my blog, or my Pinterest, or my Facebook account. So, I got to thinking. (I do that sometimes.)

Blog – I hope that people would think I was intelligent and my writing didn’t suck or have copious amounts of grammatical errors. I hope! It would be great if they though I was eloquent from time to time and that I expressed my thoughts in a coherent manner. Maybe they would even think that my boyfriend and I were a cute couple. I know I do.

I started blogging because I was going to Spain and it was a good way to communicate with friends/family back home without emailing all the time. I found a community (of sorts) with other auxiliares, expats, and travel bloggers. I have really come to enjoy blogging, sharing experiences, and commiserating with my fellow expats or former expats (I guess now I am a former).

Nowadays I blog because I love writing and sharing, getting feedback, and seeing what I can accomplish. My family tends to encourage me, so I keep at it. I don’t know exactly what my purpose is, but I like it for now, so I’ll keep chugging on.

Facebook – I think people would think that, compared to some of my friends, I don’t have that many tagged pictures, at least as compared to my peers and the length of time I’ve been on Facebook (since 2005!). (I’m a detagger; I readily admit it.) I am a big opponent of the cryptic status update, so I’d be pleased if they could find no evidence of such passive aggressive behavior. Maybe they’d think I’d lived a fun life, full of traveling, friends, family, and beauty. I believe my life to have been blessed.

Pinterest – They would probably think (with good reason!) that I like quotes made to look pretty, vegetables, delicious cocktails, dresses, and flats. Oh, how I love a good pair of flats. Also, it only looks this way, but I can’t deny the evidence: I”m a typical girl who plans her wedding without being engaged. And no, I’m not desperate to get married. I just like pretty flowers and buffets with gorgeous looking food!

All in all, I hope to come off as a nice, caring, intelligent, sometimes insightful individual. However, who knows, really?

What about you, dear readers? What sort of Internet legacy do you wish to leave? Is that the legacy that you are, indeed, leaving? What do you wish to accomplish with your blog? Do you think you’re accomplishing that?

You Googled Whaaaat?

I admit, I’m a Googler. (Is that a word? Probably not.) If I don’t know even the most obscure fact that pops into my head, I hurriedly pop online and type my pressing query into my most beloved of all search engines, Google. Cue angels singing. It hardly ever fails. During my time as a frequent Googler, I am certain I have inquired all manner of things. Some of my searches have the potential to embarrass. Luckily, I doubt they will ever come to light. If you are reading this blog, perhaps you Googled something like “Cranky American girl in Spain.” Well, you found me! Welcome!

I had never known this before, but WordPress offers a place to look at the search terms that led people to your site. You can see the most frequent search terms. Those are generally tame, but the one-time ones are hilarious. That’s why I’ve decided to share them with you. Here are some of my favorites:

  • “bart simpson cuts homers pants of” – Hmm, I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned Bart cutting Homer’s pants off, but it’s likely happened in the series. Nonetheless, I doubt you really found what you were looking for. Sorry, dude.
  • “hairy chest rule” – Is there some sort of hairy chest rule I’m unaware of? If so, tell me now. I might need to start waxing. (Just kidding. Seriously.)
  • “teachers which sort of students do you like” – Not the ones I have. I like ones that listen, even if it’s just 50% of the time. Right now I’m averaging around 5%.
  • “do spaniards wear uggs” – Nope. If you want to know what Spaniards wear, check out this post.
  • “guy drinking salad dressing” – I like salad dressing, but I’m not a guy (I just checked) and I don’t drink it. Well, at least not most of the time.
  • “similarity between john lennon and faithhill” – No words!
  • “ain’t got no red american express” – I honestly have no idea why this Google search would have led someone to my blog.
  • “pig snout dinner” – You want morro. Yes, you can find that here.
  • “nerd girl” – Hey, what are you saying here?

But the number one search of all time that led to Y Mucho Más?

….

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SIESTA! I’m glad. I’m quite glad. I am not an expert siesta-taker, but I can direct you to my post about it. You’re welcome. Now, let’s get napping!