If there’s one thing I hate, it’s airplanes. I know, I know, they really are quite useful and they allow me to see this one guy I like. He’s kinda worth it, you know.

But still, airplanes really and truly suck. Nowadays, they charge you, as my mother would say, “out the wazoo.” Luckily, on international flights, they still let you take a free bag and eat something. Otherwise I might start munching on my forearm four hours into the eight hour transatlantic journey.

Negatives about planes (yes, a list is needed):

  • Neighbors who talk to you. Yes, I like people (for the most part). But good golly Miss Molly, I like to have my free time to read, watch movies, and try to sleep under the influence of strong sedatives. Okay, scratch that last part.
  • Crappy food. It’s not too hot, believe me. However, I’m not picky.
  • $7 cocktails. WTF. I want some wine to ease my transition into a peaceful slumber. That crap you serve me is not worth $7. Just no.
  • No knee room. As a 5’11” tall woman, I need leg room. There is none.
  • Middle seats. There are of the devil. Period.
  • Lack of personal movies. I really like British Airways and it sounds spoiled, but jeez, personal movies are amaaaazing. They make the flight go 100x faster.
  • Crying children. I do realize that parents also need to fly (I will probably, ironically, someday be such a parent), but it still doesn’t make it unannoying.
  • Crappy coffee. I need strong, black, ESPRESSO when I pull into Madrid at 8 a.m., and my body thinks it’s 2 a.m. These four ounces of brown water do. not. cut. it.
  • Coca-Cola Light. Eww.

Okay, so for today, I think that’s about it. Thanks for humoring me, y’all.

See you on the next Iberia flight to Madrid!

Random Observations

Now, these don’t apply to everyone, but just stuff I’ve seen lately!
  • It’s totally okay to shake out your dusty rag over the street below … no one cares if they get dust on their head, after all.
  • Spying on your elderly neighbor and inventing stories is very good breakfast-time entertainment.
  • Flies are smarter here. You see, in the U.S., if they got in, I’d always open a window, hoping they’d fly out. No dice. But here, here they DO. How great is that! American flies, take note.
  • Spanish men (the old ones) tend to walk with both their hands clasped behind their back. Why?! Good question.
  • When you enter a café, you never know if you’ll be entering a card game of some sort…I have done this twice, and all the old men stare at me.
  • Two things you will never lack: bread and coffee. There’s a shop every two feet as well as a café/bar.
  • Everyone must have backpacks on wheels (if you’re 14 or under).
  • You needn’t be a twin to dress the same as your brother/sister.
  • When something big happens in a soccer game, you can tell just by listening out your window. Last night, we heard a loud cheer when Barcelona scored a goal. We turned on the radio to hear the announcer: “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!” Hahah.
  • Coffee here is much, much better. So are oranges.
  • Only foreigners drink carbonated water…so apparently I identified myself. But I tried to explain that it’s not that common to drink “agua con gas” in the U.S. either.
  • Eat late. You’ll be cooler. In the summer, some families go to the beach and eat dinner at 12 midnight. That’s when you know you’re REALLY, really cool.

Welp, that’s all for now. Hope you enjoyed.