You Wanted Patty Mayonnaise

…but you found me instead.

Recently, a lot of people have arrived at my blog hoping to find something about my dear friend Patty Mayonnaise.

Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m most definitely not blonde, super thin, and prone to wearing polka dot shirts all day, everyday. Weird, I know. Sorry, I can’t be the Patty Mayonnaise to your Doug. I’m taken, anyway.

Let’s play a game called –


Seriously, now:

  • Patty Mayonnaise – NO! (Besides one funny picture)
  • Bilingual – YES! YES AGAIN!
  • Happy couple – YES!
  • Happy couples – YES!
  • Brújula – YES! (And – funnily enough – Mario just met his favorite person, Carlos Rodríguez Braun at an economics conference. He was smiling from ear to ear.)
  • Patriotism – Um, sure, sorta, kinda.
  • Kaley y mas – Here I am.
Are you joking?:
  • 5’11” tall – Are you stalking me?
  • in castilian the j is like the h in hanukkah – You have to HAAAACK when you say it.
  • locker room nude – WTF?
  • angry mushroom Mario – Mushrooms don’t make my Mario angry.
  • saint bull – No words.
  • would you date a foreigner – Yes, I would…obvy. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t issues that go along with that.
  • why would you go to belgium – Waffles. Enough said.
Maybe my blog is helpful:
  • can you live in spain on 700 euros a month? Um, yes. Just ask any of my fellow auxiliares
  •  speaking spanish outside the classroom – Check out this post. You nailed it, my friend.
  • fun spanish expressions – Check out my friend Cat’s blog post on this.
  • why am i never cool enough – You’ve never had Spanish wine or food. No more Eyetalian stuff.
  • no jobs zapatero – Well, can’t help you there.
One of my favorite things to do is find the things that were only searched for one time, like Homer Simpson pantsless. Yes, apparently that did indeed lead someone to a blog post I wrote about the Simpsons in Spain. However, I never mentioned Homer pantsless. It really is not something that appeals to me.
What are some funny search terms that lead people to your blog?