You Wanted Patty Mayonnaise

…but you found me instead.

Recently, a lot of people have arrived at my blog hoping to find something about my dear friend Patty Mayonnaise.

Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m most definitely not blonde, super thin, and prone to wearing polka dot shirts all day, everyday. Weird, I know. Sorry, I can’t be the Patty Mayonnaise to your Doug. I’m taken, anyway.

Let’s play a game called –


Seriously, now:

  • Patty Mayonnaise – NO! (Besides one funny picture)
  • Bilingual – YES! YES AGAIN!
  • Happy couple – YES!
  • Happy couples – YES!
  • Brújula – YES! (And – funnily enough – Mario just met his favorite person, Carlos Rodríguez Braun at an economics conference. He was smiling from ear to ear.)
  • Patriotism – Um, sure, sorta, kinda.
  • Kaley y mas – Here I am.
Are you joking?:
  • 5’11” tall – Are you stalking me?
  • in castilian the j is like the h in hanukkah – You have to HAAAACK when you say it.
  • locker room nude – WTF?
  • angry mushroom Mario – Mushrooms don’t make my Mario angry.
  • saint bull – No words.
  • would you date a foreigner – Yes, I would…obvy. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t issues that go along with that.
  • why would you go to belgium – Waffles. Enough said.
Maybe my blog is helpful:
  • can you live in spain on 700 euros a month? Um, yes. Just ask any of my fellow auxiliares
  •  speaking spanish outside the classroom – Check out this post. You nailed it, my friend.
  • fun spanish expressions – Check out my friend Cat’s blog post on this.
  • why am i never cool enough – You’ve never had Spanish wine or food. No more Eyetalian stuff.
  • no jobs zapatero – Well, can’t help you there.
One of my favorite things to do is find the things that were only searched for one time, like Homer Simpson pantsless. Yes, apparently that did indeed lead someone to a blog post I wrote about the Simpsons in Spain. However, I never mentioned Homer pantsless. It really is not something that appeals to me.
What are some funny search terms that lead people to your blog?

Very Little



When you tell someone you’re going to go live in another country on approximately 700 Euros a month, they might secretly (or not so secretly) think you’re a little insane. I don’t blame them – who in their right mind would decide to give up security and stability for their polar opposites? Me, that’s who. And likely you, too, if you’re reading this.

If you’re anything like me, the rat race is not appealing in and of itself but for what it can provide in the future: a home, a car, clothes, insurance, retirement plans, and respect. Sure, traveling can earn you respect from certain people, but often only if you’re abnormally successful at it, writing travel guides or living in relative luxury. I doubt living on 700 Euros a month qualifies. Thus, I’m crazy. You’re crazy too.

As Marcus Aurelius said, “Remember this: that very little is needed to make a happy life.” What, then, do I need, do you need to make a happy life? Do you really need the newest model of that car, an immaculately landscaped yard, and 2.5 kids in the suburbs? Do you need to live in a nicely furnished apartment, own a washer and dryer, eat only organic food? Do you really need to have a certain job in order for others to see you as their definition of successful? Or is life, after all, simpler than that?

In my mind, there remains no doubt – it’s infinitely simpler.

Life is about many things, and none of them arise often in discussion of traditional success. Life, at its best, should be about choosing your own adventure and living it, even if it means enduring the scorn of others. If you dream of living in a closet in NYC, eating ramen, but doing what you love, that is your adventure, and you should see it through.

I once dreamed of living in Spain, thinking that would be a grand adventure, make my pulse race, allow me to live the dream. I became disillusioned when it didn’t exactly do that, when there were more downs than ups, and rain than sunshine.Now I see that I was mistaken, thinking that just being in Spain had the power to make me happy for an unlimited amount of time. Since coming home, I have realized that it wasn’t Spain that made me unhappy – it was me.

I did it to myself. I hoped for too much and did too little. I enclosed myself in a room and didn’t come out. I refused to speak, thinking that others would judge me as bad at Spanish or silly. I wasn’t myself – the loving, fun, kind, and sometimes funny person I know I can be. My boyfriend supported me through all this, a process I know must have been trying at times. (But he did it; he’s just that kind of guy.)

Understanding that I have the power to be happy in a situation is the more invigorating, liberating feeling I’ve had in a long time. A situation does not have to be perfect. Hell, it won’t ever be perfect. It’s time I stopped anticipating the future instead of embracing the present. It’s time for me to accept that whether Mario and I end up in Spain, or the U.S., or some other random country, it’ll all be okay because I choose happiness. I don’t think I’ll be happy everyday (and certainly not before I’ve had my coffee – caffeine addict right here),



but I think I can stop feeling sorry for myself and create the type of environment I want to be in. I’m over being passive and waiting for someone else to do it for me.

I started this entry with a quote by Marcus Aurelius about how very little can make us very happy (my own interpretation). I’d like to end with something I saw on Pinterest the other day. It struck me as quite relevant to what I’m trying to do right now – swim out to my ship, the ship I waited and waited for, the ship that I could have reached had I just jumped in instead of sitting at the dock.